2


Thirty kilometres away, Inspettore Luca Carducci sat in his office in Macerata, the provincial capital. His dark ringed
eyes were straining. His feet were comfortably on his desk and in one hand he held a Poirot whilst in the other
absentmindedly directed a digestive biscuit towards a steaming cup of tea. Beneath the desk his chocolate
labrador, Deefor, snored gently and occasionally broke noxious wind.

As he flicked over a page he turned his gaze from the book to the biscuit which he proceeded to dunk, remove and
savour. Rome, he mused, may be a hotbed of criminal politicians but it did have some rather splendid delicatessens
which stocked such favorites as shortbread, PG Tips and porridge oats. Though he loved his hometown fiercely, it
was the poorer for not having access to these treats that he had craved since his first trip to Britain as a student. As
he nibbled the sodden segment, he nodded to the Anigonni portrait of Elizabeth II in her Garter robes which hung
on the wall opposite. His mind often mischievously speculated if she was wearing  anything beneath the velvet
cloak; as if any Englishman would look upon the picture as erotic rather than patriotic.

He turned to his paperback and dipped the biscuit into the tea again and as he did so his telephone chirped to life.
Out of sheer surprise, Luca dropped the Poirot and snatched the phone in order to stop the racket more than in a
devotion to duty. Unbeknown to him, the dunked end of the digestive slipped beneath the surface of the tea with the
majestic tragedy of the Titanic without the band. Mistakenly priding himself as something of a multi-tasker, Luca
brought the biscuit to his open mouth as he listened to the voice on the phone. He frowned when he saw he had
been robbed of his penultimate digestive and this trauma took precedence over the phone-call. He picked up a
teaspoon and tried to salvage the sacred soggy remains from the murky depths but was too late. The tipping point
of disintegration had been passed. It was lost and now his tea would be spoiled with biscuit slurry.

The voice on the phone squawked, 'Are you still there, Carducci?'
Luca held the his ear back to the handset.
'Si, si, certo. I'll come up straight away, sir.'

Luca replaced the phone and tried a second attempt to raise the sacred wreck of his biscuit. With partial sloppy
success, he spooned the remains into his mouth. All was not lost after all. He returned to his dropped novel only to
be interrupted again. This time it was Maria, his secretary, who knocked and entered the office almost skipping with
excitement.

     'Inspettore, was that the phone I heard ring?' She asked expectantly.
      'Er, yes. As a matter of fact it was. There has been a murder out towards the mountains. Some foreigner
apparently.' Replied Luca while he sought out his place in the book.
'That's fantastic isn't it? A case. A murder at last. Maybe you will be able to practice your English, too?'
' Yes, well maybe, whatever. That's all very well but I was rather hoping to finish this particular mystery before lunch
and now my second to last digestive sleeps with the fishes. Everything is ruined.' He sighed and returned the book
to its drawer.

Maria left in with a concentrated look on her face; an increase in work, however slight, might bite into her lucrative
on-line shoe business that she ran from her desk next door. Luca had a stretch, taking in the objects on his desk
and the office beyond. The room was noticeably devoid of the expected trappings of a police inspector's place of
work. The desk was not strewn with piles of files, the computer page saver did not display the seal of his
Department but rather a view of the craggy Cornish coastline of Penwith. The walls were not covered with pictures
of most-wanted criminals, memoranda or Health & Safety instructions in the event of Emergencies. There was a
map of Italy next to which was one of the region of Le Marche of greater size and beside this were blown up
photographs of the family holidays taken in Britain. Pictures of the three Pascuccis standing beneath Eros pointing
in opposite directions; of them huddled next to sign indicating Loch Ness, invisible behind them in a swath of fog;
Luca rather dubiously holding up a whole pint of bitter in a brasses-and-beams pub and pride of place was one of
Luca cuddling a bearskinned Scots Guardsman outside St James's Palace: Luca had been surprised to learn that
this soldier was Russian; when asked his name he replied 'Buggeroff'.

Luca smiled helplessly at the framed photo of his wife, Sofia, cuddling their six year old daughter Agatha. He had
known Sofia nearly all her life as she was the best friend of his younger sister, Theresa, and they were still thick as
thieves. After his training and secondment in Rome, Luca had realised that he had not only felt the ache of exile
from his hometown but something even deeper in his heart. When, at his welcome home party, he caught sight of
Sofia's suede-soft eyes again after the years away his heart leapt in recognition at what was missing. They were
engaged for two years and finally married and began living together seven years ago. Agatha had arrived about a
year later and due to the unremarkable police pay(though excellent pension scheme), she was likely to be an only
child. Sofia had seemed a little distant these last two weeks and was acting rather furtively in Luca's view.

They lived in an ancient, though thoroughly refurbished, apartment in the centro storico of Macerata. It was handy
for Sofia's work which was only a five minute walk along the cobbled lanes to her office. This meant that mealtime
arrangements could be dealt with the minimum of fuss. Sofia worked for the Sferisterio- the neo-classical open air
arena by the town walls where the famous Macerata Opera Season (second only to Verona- the critics said) took
place each summer. She was the Events Coordinating Officer which covered most of the diverse organization, a
role that was heaped onto her by her lovely but disorganised colleagues but was not rewarded with a corresponding
renumeration. Although in theory a committee of the great and the good ran the Opera Season, including her
mother in law, in reality Sofia did; and she was happy to - music was her vocation. A skilled pianist and organist, she
could have been a professional but preferred music to be a consolation from Life rather than be her  Life . From
time to time, Sofia gave recitals for charity and her great joy was that Agatha had inherited some of her skills at the
keyboard.

Next to this photo was a silver-framed group shot of 'Team Carducci' taken at his grandmother's 90th or maybe
hundredth birthday party. She was so old he had lost track and if and when she died she would have to be carbon-
dated. The star of the photo was not the skipper but the manager of the team: Margherita, his mother, looking
impossibly glamorous with a smile magnified by the photographer's flash. It reminded Luca of an artist's impression  
he had seen in a magazine of the birth of a supernova in the deep dark cosmos. At the sight of his beaming mother,
Luca patted his close cropped greying hair, checked his suede brogues were unscuffed  but then reminded himself
that he was nearing forty and should not be enthrall of his mother even if she had been the wife of a former
President of the Region. In an act of defiance he loosened his tie a little further and paced out of the office in an air
of world-weariness which always seems to follow him around these days.

Mother. Madonna! was it Thursday- almost the weekend, already? Every other week, Luca, Sofia and Agatha were
summoned to Sunday lunch at the apartment in the palazzo where Luca had spent the first twenty for years of his
life. Margherita had been delighted when she had heard that the newlyweds were going to buy a flat in the centro
storico too but was horrified that it was all of half a kilometre's distance. 'That's only 500 metres, mother.' Luca had
explained. The analogy of the half full/half empty glass had stirred in Luca's mind at this point.

Still, Luca and family would religiously make their way to lunch after Mass; Margherita was not such a tyrant as not
to offer dispensations every month or so. Luca's sister, Theresa, was not subjected to this ordeal (as Luca saw it)
for two reasons. Firstly, she and her husband, Ugo, lived beyond the pale of Macerata near Morrovalle some
25kilometres towards the coast. Secondly, Ugo was the heir to a handbag fortune and had a company car ready at
his mother-in-law's beck and call; in addition she could eat out anywhere in the region and charge it to Ugo's
business; also Margherita had a room permanently made up for her at Ugo's house in Portofino where his family
had holidayed for decades.

Luca did not resent his sister's material comfort or success at having bought off the maternal clutches. It was not
Theresa's fault that Luca was the only son and consequently heir to Margherita's ambitions and machinations. For
Luca's father had been President of the Region. Early on, Margherita had ambitions for Luca to follow his father.
Manfredo had no such ambitions when, in early middle age, a successful and respected architect, he had been
wooed by the much younger Margherita. It was she who had poured the honeyed words into his ears and had
shown him what he could achieve in the political arena. It was she who had lead him into success, glory and power;
a handsome percentage of which she claimed as commission. He had reigned for twelve glorious years with
Margherita as First Lady and emminence gris until his sudden death in a Sirolo hotel in the company of two Eritrean
prostitutes. The scandal was hushed up from the public who had unwittingly financed these shenanigans but were
saved the anguish of the exact cause of their leader's fatal heart attack.
Le Marche had mourned.
The authorities turned a blind eye to exposure when the widow hinted at files that contained facts that would
incriminate everyone . Literally everyone in the system from the road sweepers up. A lid was firmly placed on any
investigation of misconduct full stop.
The government had sighed.

Manfredo was given an official funeral at the romanesque cathedral of San Siro in Ancona. It was presided over by
several cardinals and attended by all the regional top-brass and even representatives of central government in
Rome. Heavily sweetened by a pension of presidential proportions, Margherita was ousted and returned to
Macerata from where she held a court in exile. Her political skills were still highly valued by the new powers in the
region but they were wary only to seek her advice at arm's length lest she insinuate herself into the bosom of power
once more. A young political cartoonist had unwisely alluded to Margherita as Hannibal Lector. Such was her
influence that a week later the same wag could be found scratching a living dashing off caricatures of hassled
tourists on the dockside in Bari.

In truth, Margherita was not so much disappointed in Luca as in herself; she saw her inability to lure him into politics
as her failing not his. She had seen so many less promising candidates catapulted into the highest echelons of
power. They sat in various powerful posts with the bewildered look of boxing monkey  puppets whilst unseen in the
background their masters operated the levers of power. Luca could play that role she had often mused with un-
ironic pride. He was good looking, more importantly, normal looking, likeable like a real person. That is to say that
he lacked the maniacal, almost alien stain that so many politicians spent fortunes having airbrushed out by spin
doctors and sliced out by surgeons. And so it was that he was viewed in some quarters (but behind closed doors)
as a possible representative of the new politics.

He was quite tall thanks to a healthy dollop of northern genes and generations of prosperity and the good diet that
accompanied it. He had a honest face given to a roundness that suggested conviviality . He had his father's soft
brown dark-rimmed eyes which leant him an air of devotion to duty though when he was younger and his hair longer
and more unruly, he could sometimes give the misleading appearance of being hungover which was disconcerting
in the afternoon. However, since he had begun to lose his hair he had decided to keep it short so that the five
o'clock shadow- night on the tiles look was now definitely a thing of the past.

She loved his adoption of il stilo inglese in dress. His Italian cut tweed jackets and cords gave him the air of a
cultivated Bologna intellectual of aristocratic pedigree. The Carduccis were certainly not paisanne and even had the
odd drop of blue blood in their veins; however, they were not intellectual giants by any stretch of the imagination.
Luca had sauntered through his studies at Macerata University and it was widely believed that his high attendance
record alone had secured him his degree. His father's string-pulling had resulted in Luca gaining a place at police
college. After some time in Rome, Luca was wrangled a vacant post in the Homicide Department back home where
he was rarely troubled by a murder and more importantly, as his mother saw it, he had kept well clear of the
temptations of Vice and Drugs and had hence kept his copybook clean.

He was a perfect candidate for the new breed of politics which had filled the void after the political meltdown in the
1990s. He looked the part; he had a clean record; a loving family and the most sharp-minded political puppeteer
ready and waiting in the wings. All he had to do was appear to be remotely bothered about or interested in the
political destiny which his mother had prefabricated in readiness for him. She had vowed to continue her work
behind the scenes on his behalf. This would be her bequest to Luca.

After patting Deefor on the head, Luca left his office and locked the door behind him. This really was a terrible
inconvenience. He was reaching a critical point in the novel and there had already been the single mandatory
murder for the year - a drug related gang killing on the coast in May. Once a year that was the usual quota anything
more was usually a husband killing his wife and lover then adding a suicide to the statistics. However, the season
for this was during the Dog Days of August when the heat in the towns became too much for some. A separate
murder was a different matter altogether, though; it would appear as a blip, a surge even, a doubling of the annual
homicide rate in the region. He frantically thought back. Yes, there had been two separate murders in the same
year a while back but there had been none the following years so the numbers evened out in the end. Please God
that would be the case again or else the statisticians would be onto him wanting an explanation for the 100%
increase in murder. Luca shuddered at the thought of the paperwork. As if he did not have enough to deal with.

He paced distractedly down the brightly lit corridor to the office of the Boss. A charming 'Si, accommodi.' answered
his business-like knock and he went into the anteroom where his superior's secretary tapped away at her computer.
With eyebrows that suddenly arched over her spectacles, Claudia said 'He's expecting you, Luca. Go on in.' Luca
drew a deep breath and went ahead.

'Porca Madonna!' The Boss slammed the phone down and glanced up at Luca. He looked like a badly shorn
baboon and had the temperament to match. With a hairy, gnarled paw, he pointed at the chair on the opposite side
of his file strewn desk, drew a huge breath and barked sarcastically,’ Now, Carducci, I know your mother somehow
very kindly arranges that  there aren't any murders in the region so you can have an easy life and we're grateful,
really we are; don't get me wrong. I'm happy, you're happy, everyone's happy.' His voice had a certain southern
twang together with it's tone and volume that caused Luca's eye to squint in discomfort. 'No, Carducci, I could not
be happier than you when you've got your nose in a paperback and it seems to keep the region's murderers off
their game, too. But every so often, I'm afraid, a greater force than your mother comes into the arena and our easy
lives are thrown into the wind like dust.'
Luca looked at him blankly,’ There’s been a murder apparently..?'
       'Yes, apparently, yes. A murder out at Monte San Nicola, some rusky with a British passport. London's full of
them now apparently; dodgy ruskies and polak plumbers. This one's juicy. Been taken out.'
       'Taken out? Executed?'
       'Hoofed.'
       'Hoofed?'
       'Hoofed.' He paused as if nothing need be expanded upon; Luca's expression showed expansion was needed.'
Hoofing is an old cossack form of execution only nowadays these 21st century ruskies trample their victims with their
4x4s rather than using horses. Progress, I suppose you could call it. There was a Harvey Keitel movie that came out
on DVD recently, the mob took out some informer like that. Have you seen it? No, didn't think so. Not exactly
Sherlock Holmes, I'm sure.' He paused and scratched his ribs. He shot up from his chair and bounded over to the
coffee machine in the corner and with the clumsy flick of a lever followed by a gush of pressurised steam he was
afforded his treat: a hard boiled espresso shot. Luca looked from the wild-eyed primate and the wastepaper basket
in the corner and counted six crushed plastic beakers.Figlio di putana! he must be absolutely wired! The Boss
prowled his way back behind his desk and continued:
     'Well, ruskies mean trouble; trouble like drugs, guns, Albanians, illegals and all sorts. Juicy, like I said. So, we
need a guy with nous, a razor mind, an eye on the bigger picture, subtly, and above all balls.' He paused to take a
slurp of scalding black liquid and winced like it was bad medicine.
     'However, we have you.'
He paused to allow his gullet to cool down.’ You speak English and, well, your mother plays cards with the Chief. As
God is my witness, if there was anyone else, I would have used them. So there you have it. This is potentially a big
deal and could have international repercussions. I want this sorted out quickly and cleanly or you're on a transfer to
Lampadusa processing African illegals. And from what I remember that the tiny little island that doesn't even have a
bookshop let alone a library and that would be especially crap for you wouldn't it. Oh, and the school's only fit for
morons. So go back to your office, put a bookmark in your paperback and get out there and solve this one. There
are lots of eyes on you on this one, do it right.
Oh and by the way. My favorite nephew, Andrea Rispoli, has just graduated from Police College, top of the class,
don't you know. He just happens to be fluent in English, too. As a graduation present, I've wrangled him a temporary
secondment here. He'll arrive next Wednesday and if the case ain't sorted by then, it's his. Capisce?'

He flung a report over to Luca who caught it clumsily. At least Deefor might get a walk out of it, he mused as he
plodded back to his office whilst skimming through the thin interim report.
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